Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Dear You,

Dear you, 

       Just when I told you that I give up on military men, you said something that I never expected you to say. You see, when I first started telling people that I think I want to marry into the military a lot of people acted like it was just a phase, like I didn't know what I was talking about. They kept telling me all the negative things about it as if I had never factored the cons into the equation. So I finally let the negative things get to me. How he would be gone for many months at a time. How I would have to raise my kids on my own half the time. How it's really hard to find a god-fearing gentleman in the military. How a lot of men in the military have bad tempers. I let them get to me and decided fine, no more military.

        Then you turned to me and told me what absolutely no one has told me. Honestly, I take your word for it because you know first hand what it's like to be a part of a military family. Your dad is in the military so I know that you miss him too when he's gone and that you know what it's like for your younger sisters and your mom. You told me that I would be a really good military wife. Why? You told me because I'm faithful. Not only that, you said that when he leaves, I know how to take care of myself and I will know how to take care of my children. When he comes back I'll be good at helping him "drop back in" to our lives as if he was only gone for a day or two. That I would make sure my children know what's going on and that they know their father. That I would let my husband recuperate if he needs to every time he comes back and that I would be good at preparing myself emotionally every time he leaves.

        I wanted to cry because I had always thought that I was capable of these things but I had never told anyone because since they had already rained down the cons I assumed they would just think that I'm just saying it because I feel like I have to defend myself. Now I know that I don't have to defend myself, I just have to be true to myself. You helped me see that because you know my true self and so you saw all these qualities in me and I didn't even have to say anything. I think in the same way it is similar to how I know you. I mean, at first, I never saw you with the man you're with now. That's because I had not yet known him and plus he was just a boy back then. Though the more time I spend with him I see how much you two fit together and I see how much he has changed into the man that you need in your life. 

      I'll admit I'm jealous of you sometimes because you really have not dated many guys and you've already found someone with whom you've had a committed relationship for three years. I find it amazing. However, when I find myself feeling a little jealous I remind myself that you went through hardships too and that your relationship is the ultimate example I should follow. This is why I stopped dating; because I want to follow your example in hopes that my patience will be well rewarded. In fact, because God blessed you so wonderfully, I know that He will bless me too and that I just have to be patient and continue to praise Him. In fact, you and him, your parents, my parents, even our family friends from church are all examples that God truly wants us to be happy and that there is such a thing as true love and marriages that last until we leave this world. I'm utterly and completely thankful to have you as one of my best friends. Even though we don't talk often, every time we do get a chance to talk or spend time with each other, I am just so happy and I get recharged and encouraged. You always encourage me to further my faith and trust in our God Almighty and I thank you so much for that. I love you so much from the depths of my heart and that will never change. You are not only my sister in Christ but also my sister in love. This goes for your sisters too and your parents are two of the best parents in Christ I could ever ask for.

I love you, 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Quote, unquote.

"Too much of the good life ends up being toxic, deforming us spiritually."
- David Goetz

     Many times I have found this to be so true. In his book Crazy Love, Francis Chan points out that a lot of things in this world are good by themselves. However, when we take it all in at once, we get so distracted or consumed that it keeps us from living fruitful lives for God. Reading this book is really starting to open my eyes. In fact, based on this little passage alone there are so many examples and insights that spring to life in my mind. Especially in today's world full of technology, which will only increase as time ticks on, it is so easy to get consumed into all these things that are "good." Let's start minimal. Cell phones: good for communication when you're out and about. In fact many household no longer have land lines as all or most members of the family have cellulars. Computers: today we can use the to read the news, watch movies, write blogs, do homework, keep in contact with each other, etc. Television: it keeps you entertained. Radio: It feeds you music or talk radio shows.  Oh and by the way you can access the news through all of theses medias. These are all good things right? They have advanced our society to higher efficiency levels and in the process, I think, lower standards. So many things that are indeed good, can turn out to be bad for our relationship with God. Even things as simple as reading a book, eating food, or writing poems. If we don't make time for God, we can easily get lost in all the good around us and in the end it will all come crashing down into a whole mess of bad. 

     From another point of view. This statement could also point out that many times, something so horribly wrong in our lives (or just something bad) has to happen before we can realize how blessed we are. If it takes a punishment to acknowledge a blessing then something is definitely wrong with our relationship with God. We should praise Him throughout the good and continue to praise Him throughout the bad. Our relationship with God is not meant to be "You give, I give. You take, I take." Also the bible does say that if we ask then we shall receive but that also doesn't mean the God is our maid. He does not bend to our every will, wish, or want. No. It is we who are blessed with what we need and so much more. When God blesses us I do believe that we are meant to pursue Him even more because He blessed us. It is not that we are praising him so we can receive. When we live like this, is when we are submitting to the relationship of "I only come to you when I want something." Often times we do this in our lives and sometimes it becomes a habit that we don't even realize it. In this sense, when our relationship with God has boiled down to this, that is when we are truly, spiritually deformed. It is sad, yes. Although the happy ending in this is that God has the power to make us whole again and if we pursue Him because He blesses us then we can be on the path to true fulfillment and life in light of Jesus Christ. 


Friday, December 2, 2011

Two things.

Lately so many short stories about Jane have been formulating in my mind. In fact, I want to write them. Then I get nervous. A few of these stories about Jane are going to be a little graphic and I'm not too sure that I can dumb it down enough to give Jane enough justice and meaning in her stories. I don't know. Tell me what you think.

Also, I think I'd like to start a cookbook blog! I'll probably create it on Tumblr because Tumblr is the main site that I blog on. It will consist of recipes of my own and recipes that I love to make! Oooh! Pictures too! I think I'll make a cooking blog. When I do I will definitely post the link on here for you all to follow if you'd like. =)

Back to stories of Jane. I feel like they are just aching to be written. Like so much relief will come upon me once it's all out. Oh but I don't know. I'm a bit conflicted. I may end up writing them anyway. However, I don't want to use them up as free writes so I shall wait as patiently as I can until we are assigned a short story.

Until then,


Thursday, December 1, 2011

Oh. My. Goodness!

Stephen Wilson Bethel is my new celebrity crush.
Mmm mmm mmm he is just so dreamy! He's got like that perfect boy-band look turned into a man and just the perfect amount of body hair. Oh dear, a pretty boy like him can just make it so easy for me to let my imagination run wild. Ooh and I just love his accent in that new show on CW, Hart of Dixie. My oh my, can he please ask me out on a date? I mean, I know we're like 7 or 8 years apart but does age really matter? I hope his career blossoms from soap operas to movies so I can easily follow his career  ^-^ now, now.... let's not get obsessed.

Oooh, he is just so fine! >_<